Usually,
when new acquaintances go out on a date, they tend to put up their best
appearances and behaviours to create a lasting pleasant impression in
the mind of the other person. Thus, people try so hard, including eating
moderately before the day, to avoid anything that could be untoward or
paint them in bad light.
This was
Mrs. Seun Omoyemi’s understanding before she went out to meet her
friend-turned-husband on their first date. Barely few minutes into their
discussion, as they relived their journey through their first phone
conversation to their eventual meeting, she said she was feeling pressed
to fart but she kept managing it until it became unbearable.
She
recalled that she carefully leaned on one side of her butt, gave an
enticing smile and applied a little pressure to give way to the gas (hot
air) silently when in the middle of the ‘release’ she suddenly heard a
loud sound that shook the sofa they both sat on. Simply put, she farted,
and loudly too.
“Unconsciously,
I screamed ‘Yeeh’,” she said. “I wish the ground would just open and
swallow me right there. I didn’t know whether to apologise, dismiss it,
smile or run away. I felt embarrassed, humiliated and
humbled. It was
our first date and that was the last thing that should happen, but it
did.
“I
apologised to him and told him it was because of what I ate the previous
night, and he simply said it wasn’t a big deal. I struggled to keep it
off my mind throughout our conversation but it kept coming and I felt so
ashamed. In fact, when I needed to laugh, I had to do it carefully so
he wouldn’t feel like I didn’t care or so another one wouldn’t come out.
It marred my day, because I felt stupid. I kept thinking about it
several days after it happened.
“I won’t
forget that experience but now it’s one of the things we joke about. It
has become a subject of teasing between us and we laugh about it. Since
we got married, he has done same in my presence many times and I have
done mine repeatedly too and it’s interesting because we laugh about
it.”
Omoyemi
notes that both of them now compete about whose fart would be the
loudest. “Anytime we eat beans, it often leads to competition between
us. It’s hilarious. It sounds crazy but that is one of the things that
have kept us together and sincerely, it brings a feeling of closeness,
openness and genuine intimacy. To us, there is nothing to be ashamed
of,” she added.
Interestingly,
every living human being farts but it seems nobody does it with pride
in the presence of others. People could dramatise with it, close their
eyes and make sure the sound reverberates when alone, depending on the
pressure applied, but in the presence of others, it seems like a weird
thing to talk about or an awkward thing to do.
People
tend to adjust, lean on one side of their butts, squeeze or give a
strange smile to divert attention and give ‘it’ a safe passage or even
take a walk from where people are just to do it to avoid the perceived
shame, and it is one thing that comes out many times a day.
Even among
some couples who have lived together for years, it seems like a dreaded
topic. Apart from the smell, which is often influenced by the kind of
food consumed, suffice it to say everything about it detests publicity
but harbours secrecy.
Discussing
it, even though seen as unpleasant, could also evoke laughter while
some people have argued that it has no home, unlike pee and poop, thus,
it comes out at will, unless when controlled. In fact, findings showed
that farts that are withheld often find their way out when the person is
asleep.
Due to
people’s perception of it and in a bid to make it sound less disgusting,
people have given it series of names, including mess, release, pollute
the air, break the internet, or break the wind, which is seen as a more
polite way of expressing it. Regardless of the colouration, everybody
farts, including men, women, young, old, beautiful and ugly and the
smell is not always pleasant mainly due to the sulphur content.
It is
interesting to note that as much as people shy away from it, some
studies have shown that doing such (perceived)unpleasant things, like
farting, in the presence of a partner could enhance couples’ intimacy,
boost their sex lives and ultimately make their marriage last longer.
“When you
are able to fart loudly or do such things in the presence of your
spouse, then you have assumed a remarkable level of openness, confidence
and intimacy,” one of the studies said. It adds, “It doesn’t mean you
have to be uncivilised about it, but you should be able to do it in the
presence of the person without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.
“It is
understandable that if you have that level of openness and intimacy, you
have nothing to hide and so your marriage would be better for it.”
When Saturday PUNCH
asked some couples whether they fart in the presence of their
partners’, it elicited divergent responses. Largely, the question evoked
laughter from many. While some of the respondents said they do fart in
their partner’s presence without apologies, some others said it could be
uncivil to do ‘it’ in the presence of another person, regardless of the
closeness.
A post on elitedaily.com
says, “Loving the fart, acknowledging that your partner has a butthole
and from that butthole come farts, and knowing all these is imperative
to the success of your relationship. If you are comfortable enough to
fart in front of your boyfriend, there is truly nothing you can’t do in
front of him. The beauty of farts is that they prove that anything is
possible. It creates inside jokes and it shows you have nothing to
hide.”
This
implies that certain things people consider as unpleasant and awkward
could be the required ingredient to spice up a marriage.
According
to a medical practitioner, Dr. Rotimi Adesanya, the gas released during
farting is a result of processes that take place during digestion or
when the tummy is bloated and that the body has to get rid of such gases
to be able to feel relieved.
He said,
“If you eat things like legumes; beans, groundnut and others, there is a
production of gas from the breakdown of the micro-organism and the body
has to get rid of it. If you are holding it, you will be uncomfortable
and you will not be at ease.”
Apart from
farting, there are other things that seem unpleasant but have been
found to be helpful in boosting intimacy between couples and ultimately,
marriage. These, according to a post on huffingtonpost.com
include going to poop in the presence of a partner, removing or
displaying used underwear, plucking hairs from the pubic area or armpit,
picking the nose, popping out pimples in a magnified mirror, a lady
removing stache or stubborn chin hairs, blowing the nose, clearing the
throat in a loud manner, men scratching their balls, dishing out heavy
spit and women inserting or removing a tampon.
According
to a psychologist, Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, even though some of such
activities are considered either dirty or unpleasant, they could enhance
intimacy between couples if done in the presence of the other person
over time without any feeling of resentment.
He said,
“There are things you wouldn’t want to do in the presence of people in
order not to displease them or make the situation look unpleasant to
them, but if you do it regularly in the presence of your partner and the
person sees no big deal in it, it means you don’t have things to hide
from each other and it helps your marriage.
“If people
are able to fart in the presence of their partners, it is a sign of
intimacy and acceptance. Cohesion between people develops from little
things like that. When couples do that consistently, it fades out
secrecy and brings in acceptance. However, it becomes an issue if the
partner makes it a subject of reference in future disputes or argument.
That can erode marital confidence.”
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